it's jokes
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!