it's jokes
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.