it's jokes
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
I hate my life.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.