it's jokes

Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.

Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)

Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).

Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?

Because they are always so distant. :-]

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?

Never mind. It’s too cheesy!

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11? Because it flew over their heads.

I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?

Because it was a misteak.

If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"