it's jokes
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Want to have sex?
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.