it's jokes

I wish my grass were emo because then it would cut itself.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.

Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!

"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.

"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!

What is 6 inches and long?

A Slim Jim.

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.