IT jokes
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What is it about sisters who argue?
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Hey guys, it's Gwen, and I want to say that I'm deleting my account regarding a comment made on my last post :(
Why was the fanny flat?
So it can flop about.
Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.
Thanks for learning and getting advice.
Also, don't be such a horny one!
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!