IT jokes
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?