IT jokes

Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"

It hasn’t come out yet.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?

Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.

I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."

What did the chancla say to the belt?

"It's time."

What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

It's snot fair!

Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce in.

Lettuce in who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.

Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.