IT jokes
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
I have it.
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.