IT jokes
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
You pecan do it!
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.