IT jokes
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.
It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
Why was six scared of seven? Because 7 ate 9. Why was 10 scared? Because it was between 9/11.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.