IT jokes
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind... It's too cheesy.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"