IT jokes
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.