International relations jokes
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?
Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
"Mayotte’s are sinking in the yogurt! (My Oat’s)" 🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!