International relations jokes
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.