International relations jokes
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." π
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didnβt explode."π
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?
Trump's dead Russian mates.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. Thatβs not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.