International relations jokes
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?
Trump's dead Russian mates.
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.