Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Intelligence Jokes
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
