Instrument jokes
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.