Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
What's a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A Trombone.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument (comment below)
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
Make like a drum and beat it!
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
