Instrument jokes

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?

A sex-a-phone.

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.

Why does a cow love music?

Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

Why did the dog join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish.

I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.

What's a fish's least favorite instrument?

A ClariNET!

What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

A bass drum is the boss.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!