Insect jokes
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.