INS jokes
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."