Indian jokes

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

A woman.

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?

A car thief who can't drive.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

Never gonna give you up.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.

What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?

A ring-a-ding-a-ding.

What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.

Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?

What's an Indian scammer's worst nightmare? Google Playstore points being redeemed.

What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?

Josiah.

Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

What do Indian and Jewish people have in common?

They both avoid the showers at all times.