In common jokes
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.