One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
