Impulse jokes

"I want to kill my family."

-realizes-

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

On a lighter note, I seem to have gotten my pyromania under control.

BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.

Speed.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.

Sonic Boom in my ass.

Atom

Electron