If jokes
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.