If jokes

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!

If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?

'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.

If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.