
Ides jokes
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

