Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
There are more than two genders.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny Cash.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Yourself.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
