Identification jokes

My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.

Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.

Bros got barcode arms.

What do you call a male ladybug?

Trans.

Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.

Mike, ID is coming tonight.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

I (DYM 99).

Parton (DYM 80).

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

What do you call a guy named Ben?

Answer: Ben

What is a dog with only two legs? A human.

What do you call a redhead in a fridge?

I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.

This isn’t a joke, but my name [is] Mr. Cheese.

Johnathon

I am looking for Mike Roch.

What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?

A UFO.

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.