"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
What goes inside and comes out wet?
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?
Because they have already got 2 towers down.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
