How do you ride two bikes at once? You ride them in tandem!
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know, I’ve only killed communists.”
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
how much curry can an indian eat? untill his red dot explodes
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient. He was a great vet.
If a gay peson is vegan how does he have sex he will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throught
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid
put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies. "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks," the man replies. "I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues. "OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in. "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. "It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off. "Yes it is," replies the man. "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks. "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. "Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed. The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy. "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide because you won’t bring back afterwards
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
Little Johnny was late to school one day and miss brown asks, Johnny how come ur late to class and Johnny says, Miss, u wouldn’t believe it, the farmers bull got out and started fucking the white cow miss brown said Johnny don’t use that word next time you want to say that use the word “surprised”. The next day Johnny was late again and miss brown said Johnny why are you late and Johnny replied miss you wouldn’t believe it the farmers bull got out and “surprised” the whit cow, miss brown said that’s much better Jonny and Johnny said yeah walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one
How do u know an abo robbed ur house? The bins empty and the dogs pregnant
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them
How do you fuvk a duck? Usually duck a fuck
How do pedophiles get kids to suck there d**k? They spray paint it like candy 🍬
How to become a monkey
Put a red dot on your forehead
Teacher:what does the pig give us Student: bacon Teacher: very good how about the chicken? Student: meat Teacher: good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: homework
to men walk into a bar the 1st says hey hows it going the 2 one says great but then the 3rd man says hello where did my wife go i swear she as just here what happened to the 3rd guys wife
