How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."