A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Running, JK rolling!
How do you get away with rape and incest in California? Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big "dick"? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you help a constipated person?
U scare the shit out of them
how does NASA organize their parties? they planet.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the Fresh prints.
My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
