Howe jokes
How long is it?
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Memes
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Why did the rapper smoke dope?
To learn how to drop some DOPE beats!
How do rappers stay organized?
With rhyme books instead of planners!