Howe Jokes

How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?

Leg day.

A tweet by derek guy @dieworkwear that reads: "i honestly dont know how rich ppl end up committing crimes. if i had even $500K, i would live so peacefully, mind my own business, wear my little outfits, and just feed birds."

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

How do you get ten babies in a bucket?

With a blender.

How much do the bones in your body weigh?

A skele-ton!

How does a rapper make a burrito?

With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!

They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"