Howe jokes
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"
Girl, scan the code on your wrist.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiÂli, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.