How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
Sup guys, how are you?
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
