How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
How do you surprise a blind kid... put a plunger in the toilet
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
How to not exist: Kys.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How do you anger a Republican? Tell him the truth
How do you anger a Libertarian? Don't tell him the truth
