House jokes
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house?
To the Earth, is the human body of the human being human? Is it human? Human can be the one day today after the night is the snow time and a.
I don’t love being bored.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
What did a magic house 🏠 do?
Make someone in a wheelchair.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
I love you.
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!