Hotness jokes

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that."

So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?

Hot Wheels.

One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.