Homophone jokes
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's 2+2? FORE-head.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
89 cows = 0 cows.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
kapteyn = captain
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
If O2 is H2O, what is F?
It is H2O too; F is water as well.
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
16 is a knight? Mail.