What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
16 is a knight? Mail.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
1 + 1 = window.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
