Home jokes
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they have no home.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Why do orphans love foster homes?
Because they actually have a home.
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.