New Home Jokes - Page 40 - Worst Jokes Ever

In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

Why did the orphan commit suicide?

So he could find home.

Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?

Answer: They couldn't find home base.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Mom: Son, did you go to school?

Son: What if I said yes?

Mom: You are in school! *slap*

Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

Son: Good.

Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

If you like it, please commit down.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.