Home jokes
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.