Home jokes
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They can't find home plate.
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.