Hold jokes
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
It works, my brother has never slept better
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.