Hold

Hold Jokes

Spock went to the enterprises toilet and he knocked on it "Kirk are you in there?" Spiked asked, Kirk answered "hold on i am making a captains log"

best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-

Hey man what's that a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok well hold it over I'll give it right back oh no i won't oh yes you will oh i won't oh yes you will ok fine then you take it or all blow our your butt before it farts.

When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

during the great war:

*a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.* He says:"You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *he didn't stop firing*

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge? It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava, if they're active. And ours was.

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bolin ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though al research that

Dear Gwen. Gwen when I said sorry I ment that as a sarcastic why and point of veiw! Tbh u make me sick as a dog! also ur so annoying stop holding that anger in BTW I AM A SPECIAL CHILD! btw I am 6 years old btw! please comment good or not! Irdc!

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. he says to the bartender "I have a deal, if i can hold my dick in the alligators mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink" and so the bartender agreed. the man, like he said, had his dick in the alligators mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. he made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. he did it and drank his drinks. then he said to the amazed crowd, "would anyone like to volunteer?" one man raised his hand. he walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "just a warning, i don't think i can hold my mouth open that long."