What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
HI Jokes
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
