HI jokes

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To get to the other side (suicide).

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hitler!

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

Friend: Hi, orphan.

Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.

Friend: ummm

Orphan: Exactly, U can't.

Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!