HI jokes

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?

Because it’s the only magical string in his life.

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?

The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

Friend: Hi, orphan.

Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.

Friend: ummm

Orphan: Exactly, U can't.

Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?

He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.