HI jokes

Sex

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Lamp

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

Orphanage

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

Memes

Murder

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

Kobe

What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?

They both have torn rotators.

Present

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

Lamp

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Toy

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Finger

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Dwarf

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

Friend

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Kid

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Asthma

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Grandpa

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Batman

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

Lamp

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.