HI jokes

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

What did the rapper name his new DOG?

Lil Bark.

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Why did the rapper start gardening?

He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?

Just take out his brain and there you go!

Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...

What did the O say to the O? "O hi O!" (Ohio)

Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.