HI jokes
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his ICE checked.
Memes
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Hi Sean!
FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFDLLLUFF
Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!