HI jokes

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

Why did Michael Jackson run?

Because he lost his glove.

You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.

Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?

She kept getting the metal detector out.

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

What did the rapper name his new DOG?

Lil Bark.

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Why did the rapper start gardening?

He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.